She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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