he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
That accounts for only three of the penises
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
