dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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