i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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