pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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