I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
