No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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