A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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