The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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