So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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