so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
