I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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