I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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