we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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