Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
