It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
If I die, sorry about rent.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
