why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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