the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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