Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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