someone get that fucking seahorse.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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