so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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