They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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