hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
My vagina is officially offended.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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