and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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