sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
