she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
