Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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