his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
my liver is dry heaving
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
