yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
