she looked like the before picture.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize