My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Are we in a gay sports bar?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
