you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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