Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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