oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Are my feet made of real feet?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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