I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
too bad you live with your parents still
Fuck appropriateness.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
