I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Randomize
