VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Randomize
