my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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