So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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