well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
