he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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