I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
