I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
