My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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