You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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