i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
