someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
