conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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