yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
