The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
