i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
and you fell through a lawn chair
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
