I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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