put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
