By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
