i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
