stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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