you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Randomize
