His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
