i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
