the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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