I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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