He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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