You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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