those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
a search helicopter?!
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
